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How exactly do you go from dating someone casually to having a serious relationship with them? To make yourself a better partner, think about your past relationships.

What qualities made you want to get serious with your date? What things turned you off? Being self-aware of how others perceive you is a huge advantage in dating and relationships. Sure, acting unavailable might work at the casual dating stage, but what happens after that? How long before insecurities, neediness, and jealousy creep in? Instead of acting unavailable, be independent.

Hang out with your friends a couple times a week. Go to the gym. Play the sport you like or pursue one of your interests.

Learn an instrument, a language, or take dancing lessons. Value yourself and your own time. The main thing here is neediness is a killer. Insecure people push for serious relationships for the security it brings, and people can sense that. Why bend over backwards to make someone you barely know happy? A prime example of this is a guy who brings a girl flowers on the first date. A nice gesture, but how do you know she deserves them?

What if she ends up being a total bitch? Some women might be wondering if having sex too soon is scaring guys away. Holding off to avoid judgement is ridiculous — how can two people have sex at the same time but only one of them does it too soon? The best way to look at a date is a chance to have fun.

This keeps things… well, fun. People like being around fun, low-pressure people with no expectations. Focus on having fun, enjoy the mystery, and going from casual to serious will happen naturally.

When you start hanging out together without making plans in advance, you know things are getting serious. If you make it past the gauntlet of scrutiny from their friends, things are well on their way.

Here are the most common questions and my answers to each. There are two explanations for this. If you drift apart, you know they were never going to commit and you saved yourself time, trouble, and heart ache. Texting a lot, we hook up often, they want to meet my friends.

This scenario usually happens when someone wants to get serious but has a fear of commitment. No one I date wants to get serious!! You need to try some wrong.

Thanks Siron, glad it was helpful. They want someone to settle down with into a serious relationship right away, if you take your time and date casually you could be looking for a while. Sounds like you guys need to have a serious conversation with a professional. He does have a very, very busy job and is just getting over a major medical issue. I guess I need to directly talk to him the next time we see each other. He had said in the beginning that he was looking for a monogamous relationship and wanted to make sure I was off of Match.

We see each other every other weekend. Sometimes, we see each other once during the week for dinner. We are both legally separated. Nearly 5 years for him 3 for me. We both had been married for over 20 years. Sometimes, he still misses her I think. She has no interest in getting back together. I am over my marriage and am ready for love again.

When we are together we have a great time. All his attention is on me. He is lovable, affectionate. He just told his girls about me a couple of weeks ago. They handled it ok.

He rarely texts me. He likes me to initiate. He makes an effort once in a while. We talk about everything except where we are in our relationship or if it might progress. It makes him uncomfortable to talk about it. I recently told him I loved him. I took a chance. I figured he may not say it back.

Neither do I really. What do you think? Be proud of yourself for having the guts to do it. He clearly sees the potential to fall in love with you otherwise why keep moving towards a serious relationship? I posted in May about my boyfriend whom I told I loved. I was hoping he felt the same. Well, you commended me for it but unfortnately, it scared the hell out of him. He became distant on and off.

Two months after I declared my feelings, he broke up with me. Too cowardly to talk in person which he admitted. He said we took the relationship as far as its going to go. Two weeks prior, everything seemed good for the most part.

I said two weeks ago we were fine and this came out of nowhere. A month after this, I stopped by his place to give him some of his things. I texted him a couple times to chit chat. He was very receptive to it. He said there are so many reminders of me everywhere and he misses me at times.

I asked him of he would like to meet up here and there for a movie etc. Asked him a week ago. Oh well, guess I need to move on. I stand by what I said in May — you definitely made the right move. Especially if he said he may not ever want to commit to a serious relationship… imagine if you waited a year or more to express yourself and the same thing happened? My general advice following break ups is a clean break. Delete them from social media, no calls or texts, put old pictures and things they gave you away.

I am a Chinese and I am only 26 years old though. But I suffered the same. Maybe his mentioning you to his girls was a just a lie?

No matter what,he was not the right one while you absolutely deserve better. It has been a year away since your update and I know it is meaningless to comment now. I hope that you were having a really good time after that in this 1 year and have met the right one! He was married but I was not even though the guy I was previously with I was basically married to also lived with him, had kids, been together for almost 5 years … We met through a mutual friend.

Then one night he invited me over after work so I decided to stop by and only planned to stay a few minutes, well a few minutes turned into a couple hours and before I knew it it was 2 in the morning… He really wanted me to stay but I went home and he text me after I left and confessed that he really liked me a lot… The following week he went to out of state and we hit it off pretty good texting all the time… I decided to give it a chance.

Or do I need to give him more time? Any advice will help. Let it evolve naturally, or if you want to be official ask him about it. I was in an in between relationship for about a year with my current guy. He was previously married and I was coming out of a long term relationship myself when we first met.

He tried a lot in the beginning but had put a hold on it for the first few months because I had not felt ready to move on at the time.


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