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He's in HS now, and he should know decision making skills to avoid doing stupid things when being taunted.
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I don't want to sit a across the table from you, wishing I could run. It was following her actually telling me the truth about her life. She had made some really dumb choices in the past, she was ashamed and that I'd find out and leave. She'd had an abusive stepfather and a mother who took no action after it was discovered. Screwed her up good. However as others have noted be the case here, she clung to it for protection.
She used it as a defense of any fucked up action, after all, she had suffered so much. There was no way I could understand, no way I could relate and therefore I was insensitive because my response was much that it was not the reason she continued to make poor choices.
The fact is that people CAN relate, we all have things that have been "done" to us we had no control over. Things that hurt us and we didn't handle well, we've all fucked up our lives at one point or another. We've all hurt someone we and been hurt in return, its part of the human condition. But there's a breaking point, that point in time where your life is now your own.
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Maybe this costs you guys the relationship, maybe not but if you actually listen and then seek therapy, which you definitely should you might find the message the same. Perhaps his delivery was off, but he's right. Join the club babe, we are ALL messed up somehow.
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