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Great Brazilian steak, the options are overwhelming! The food was amazing. The ambience was great. Would definitely recommend this place to anyone. We had great service as always, however I got sick and didnt touch anything.
We left 30mins after arriving due to the nausea I felt. Waiter didnt offer to remove my portion of the bill. My husband paid it, but he seen how ill I was and should have at least offered. We come here often Great food and service, just a lot of bugs flying around in both the bar and at our table.
Other than that, the service was good. Gracious, helpful staff, excellent food, relaxed dining. Rei de Gado is a dining experience that cannot be missed by people who want delicious food and a versatile dining location for business, romance, family or a variety of special occasions. A consistently memorable experience. Kind of tight where they placed our party of 10 but food made up for it.
Server was very very slow and we had to keep asking the water refill guys to call him over so we could order other food and drinks. If he would have been more attentive I would have rated the experience 5 stars. Great food, awesome atmosphere, staff was really nice and attentive.
Will definitely need to come back. Meat tasted like gas. To get a full meal you would have to sit and wait all day. This place never disappoints. The quality of the food was on par however the speed of service was very slow.
It appeared they only had 2 people serving meat for the whole restaurant so there were long stretches of waiting for something to eat. We were only brought different options as opposed to the dozen or so featured on the menu. The staff was very friendly and nice. The atmosphere was good. Very nice experience overall The food was good and the fact that you taste the meat as server come around to show it is a really good idea. The ambiance was very good with live music;. Fabulous food and great staff!
This was our first time and we'll definitely be back! Fernando was our server, and he was awesome. Super attentive and made sure we had everything we wanted. We tasted about 12 of the 20 meats - all were delicious but we especially enjoyed the garlic steak and the ribeye.
The salad bar was all delicious with crab, tabouli, quinoa and so much more. Very unique and authentic and, by the end of our evening there, we felt like we had known Fernando for years. He and the staff all made us feel at home and tended to anything we wanted. Valet takes awhile when leaving. Food is great, service is amazing!
Freshest and best variety of salads, fruits and vegetables. The place is above and beyond any others could ever hope to be. As one would assume, it was busy that day. We had reservations and this time, we were seated in the overflow side and basically forgotten about.
It happens I suppose, we will return again and hopefully get the level of service we have grown accustom to there. The meat took to long to show up, I had to chase the waiters to be able to have meat in my plateau. Took our waiter 30mins to get our drinks.
We had one around of some of the meat and it took them another 40mins to bring the next round. By then we were full and just paid our bill. This place is about money making not quality. It used to be good, couple of years ago! I would rather go to a nice steak house than spend my money on low quality meat with over marination of garlic to tenderize it. Thus why they get cheap meat, but it shows in the taste. We will definitely not come back. The food was ok but they portion off the smallest amounts and were infrequent in coming around.
The salad bar area was ok but their cheese bread was empty more than not. The tables are so cramped together it makes maneuvering difficult. The table next to us was of 8 men who were extremely vulgar, using profanity every two seconds, talking about women in a derogatory way, it was nauseating.
The guys next to us really ruined our date night. The food and service was also subpar to their competition down the street. This will be our only time dining here. We have previously dined at this restaurant and were very pleased, however this time failed to meet that experience.
Although we had made a reservation for 5 people we were directed to sit in a back corner where there were 2 tables, each set for 4. This made our interaction with one another very difficult and awkward to get out of the back bank seating. Considering it was an early lunch and they only had four other parties in the restaurant I found it very frustrating that they directed us to sit in that back area when they were was other seating available I did try to speak with the hostess regarding that but was made to feel like we didn't have much of a choice.
Perhaps we should have left then however since we were entertaining our daughter's boyfriend for the first time I didn't want to cause any problems. Also being in the back corner it seemed that the gentlemen bringing the meats around failed to stop by as often as other tables nearby.
The evening repast is simpler, often consisting of soup and perhaps leftovers from the midday meal. As Brazil urbanizes and industrializes, the leisurely family-centered meal at midday is being replaced by lanches from the English, "lunch" , smaller meals usually consumed in restaurants, including ones featuring buffets that sell food by the kilo and such ubiquitous fast-food eateries as McDonalds.
The poor, who cannot afford restaurants, are likely to eat the noon meal at home, to buy snacks sold on the street, or to carry food with them to work in stacked lunch buckets. Portuguese colonialism shows its influence in large cities, with churches and market stalls converging on central plazas.
Food Customs at Ceremonial Occasions. While the principle foods consumed in Brazil are fairly uniform across the country, there are regional specialties, many of which are eaten on festive occasions. A variety of fruit and fish native to the Amazon are featured in dishes of that region, while in southern Brazil, an area of extensive cattle ranches, meals of grilled meat churrasco are favored. Another southern specialty are rodizios, restaurants featuring barbecue in which waiters pass from table to table with large skewers of grilled meats and poultry.
Brazil's national dish, feijoada literally "big bean" stew , is said to have originated during slave times.
Traditionally feijoada contained inexpensive and less desirable cuts of meat such as tripe and pigs feet, Brazilian slaves having concocted the dish from the leftovers of the master's table. Today feijoada consists of a variety of meats slowly cooked with black beans and condiments. A feijoada completa or "complete feijoada" is accompanied by rice, fresh orange slices, a side dish of peppery onion sauce, chopped greens, such as collards, and farinha.
Feijoada is served in restaurants, typically on Wednesdays and Saturdays, and when made at home, it is a favorite dish for guests. Today Brazil has the eighth largest economy in the world. It is a major producer of such agricultural products as sugarcane, soybeans, oranges, coffee, cocoa, rice, wheat, and cotton. It is also a major supplier of beef with vast cattle ranches primarily in the southern and western regions of the country.
Nevertheless, because of the tremendous growth of industry, agriculture accounts for only 13 percent of the nation' gross domestic product. Agriculture employs—directly or indirectly— about one-quarter of the Brazilian labor force.
Five million agricultural workers are wage laborers concentrated in the plantations of the North sugarcane, cotton, coffee, cocoa and the increasingly mechanized agricultural enterprises of the Southeast and South soybeans, wheat, sugar, oranges. More than 70 percent of these workers lack contracts and social benefits and less than 40 percent are employed year round. There are also 4. In the last decades of the twentieth century, increasing mechanization and monopolization of the best farmlands by agribusinesses has accelerated the displacement of small family-owned farms.
Nevertheless, there are still some five million family farms ranging in size from 12 to acres 5 to hectares that occupy about million acres 58 million hectares.
In contrast, large commercial agricultural enterprises cover almost three times that area. During the s and s Brazil experienced economic growth from agricultural modernization and, by the early s, agricultural production had increased to the extent that Brazil had become the fourth largest food exporter in the world. But, at the same time, Brazil was not adequately feeding its own people.
It is sixth worldwide in malnutrition, ahead of only Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Indonesia, and the Philippines. Land Tenure and Property. Brazil's agrarian structure is dominated by large land holdings. Estates of more than 2, acres 1, hectares make up less than 1 percent of the nation's holdings but occupy 44 percent of its agricultural lands, while farms of 25 acres 10 hectares or less account for 53 percent of holdings and occupy under 3 percent of agricultural land.
More than three million farmers work some million acres 20 million hectares of land, but the twenty largest landowners in the country themselves own a like amount. Aside from inequalities of scale, there is also insecurity of land tenure in many parts of Brazil, particularly in the Amazon Basin.
There, capangas hired gunmen are employed by wealthy landowners to ensure that squatters do not settle on their vast, ill-defined tracts of land. Insecurity of tenure, in fact, has led to a number of violent episodes in the region at the end of the twentieth century. But there are some bright spots in terms of land security. Although encroachment on indigenous reserves—especially in the Amazon by gold miners, cattle ranchers, and others—is still a problem, today a majority of the officially recognized indigenous groups in Brazil live on reserves protected for them by law.
Land is now also being granted to the residents of several quilombos, communities in northern Brazil originally founded by runaway slaves. Brazil has one of the most advanced industrial sectors in Latin America today and is a major producer and exporter of automobiles, textiles, shoes, durable consumer goods, steel, pharmaceuticals, and petrochemicals.
Here, too, most of the country's unionized industrial jobs are found. For this reason, after the s, migration from the Northeast to the Southeast and from rural to urban areas has been particularly intense. Later, however, as unemployment in the Southeast has climbed and tax incentives have led to increased industrial investments in the Northeast, the migrant flow has been reversed to some extent.
One of the most significant distinctions in Brazilian society is between those who do manual labor and those who do not.
Today, as in the past, it is only the working class and poor who work with their hands. This division has deep historical roots and is tied to the "gentleman's complex" that emerged during the colonial period when elite males, typically sugar planters, sported a long nail on the index finger as evidence that they never engaged in physical labor. The Brazilian middle class is sometimes defined as those with colarinho e gravata —collar and tie—because a major marker of middle-class status is a white-collar job.
In Brazil people who work with their hands are, by definition, not middle class. This is why middle-class Brazilian families are far more likely than their American counterparts to employ domestic servants; it would be unseemly for a middle-class housewife to get down on her knees to scrub the floor.
Today Brazil, although one of the ten largest economies in the world, has the most unequal distribution of income of any nation except South Africa. Moreover, inequality has been growing. In the mids, the poorest 20 percent of the population received only 3 percent of national income, while the richest 10 percent received 47 percent. Or, put in another way, the wealthiest 20 percent earn twenty-six times as much as the poorest 20 percent.
In parts of Brazil, particularly the Northeast, infant mortality, a sensitive indicator of social inequality, has actually been rising. This "social question," as Brazilians call the divide between rich and poor, has characterized the nation since colonial times. With industrialization and urbanization during the first decades of the twentieth century, however, the growth of the Brazilian middle class has made this simple division more complex.
Today, depending on how it is defined, the middle class accounts for one-fifth to one-third of the population, but the resources and lifestyle of its members vary considerably. Some claim the Brazilian middle class admires elite values and aspires to elite status and it is indeed true that middle-class families in Brazil are far more likely to employ domestic servants and send their children to private school than their North American counterparts.
Thousands of saqueiros sack carriers working on the Serra Pelada gold mine, which is now closed. Gold was one of the most important exports in the eighteenth century. In the late s, moreover, it was members of the Brazilian middle class who, hurt by then rampant inflation, began seeking their fortunes abroad as immigrants to North America, Europe, and Japan. Still, a ray of hope emerged with the stabilization of the Brazilian currency and the rapid decline of inflation in the mids.
Estimates suggest that some nineteen million Brazilians moved from the working poor to the lower middle class. For the first time these people had money to spend on consumer goods; those who remained poor also benefitted from stable prices and were better able to afford staples such as meat, chicken, eggs, and beans. Symbols of Social Stratification. Brazilians are preoccupied with class distinctions and are quick to size up the social distance that exists between themselves and others they meet.
Yardsticks of such distance are general appearance and the "correctness" of a person's speech. The degree to which an individual's vocabulary and grammar is considered "educated" is used as a measure of schooling and, hence, social class.
And this, in turn, establishes patterns of deference and authority between two individuals should they belong to different social strata. When such patterns are ignored, the "elite" persons may harshly demand of their "lessers," "Do you know whom you're talking to? The Federal Constitution of Brazil provides for three independent governing branches: Although the constitution has undergone several revisions in the last century, the most recent in , it has always retained this division of governmental powers.
Voting in Brazil today is universal and compulsory for all literate citizens from eighteen to seventy years of age and optional for those who cannot read and write. Leadership and Political Officials. Brazil's return to free elections in the mids after two decades of military dictatorship has not resulted in greater social and legal equity, and unequal treatment of rich and poor is ongoing. Government officials and well-to-do individuals who have committed crimes still are more likely to escape the long arm of the law than are those of lesser social status.
In part, this is because Brazil is a country in which laws and regulations are passed, yet a significant proportion of them are ignored. Still, today there is growing intolerance of political corruption and a host of official inquiries are evidence that Brazilians are starting to reject impunity and demand accountability of their public officials.
One concept is key to understanding Brazilian political culture: Jeitos are partly a response to Brazil's notorious bureaucratic thicket which makes getting a government document—be it a driver's license, passport, or marriage license—a cumbersome process. Those who can afford to hire despachantes dispatchers , professional facilitators who know how to "do jeitos", to get things done.
Others do jeitos on their own; perhaps a small "gratuity" to a low-paid government clerk will produce the desired document. A personalistic system of patron-client relationships is another key to the nation's political culture. One becomes a government bureaucrat or politician and rises through the ranks by developing influential connections and getting help from personal networks.
Ambitious individuals cultivate powerful patrons who promote and protect them, and their own career trajectories typically rise and fall with those of their patrons. Social Problems and Control. Given the nation's stark economic inequalities, social control in Brazil has long been problematic, even more so at the end of the twentieth century than in the past.
High rates of crime, particularly in large urban areas, are a frequent topic of conversation; kidnappings, assaults, and murder receive wide media coverage. Killings by police are common particularly in poorer urban areas. Fearful for their security, corporate executives travel around in armored cars; elite neighborhoods are fortified as private, guarded condominiums surrounded by high walls.
Also within this urban landscape of have and have-nots live tens of thousands of street children, eking out a bare existence, ever on their guard against being rousted, or worse, by the police. The role of the military in Brazilian life declined significantly following the military dictatorship that lasted from to By the three forces of the military, the army, navy, and air force, had been subsumed under a new civilian defense ministry and were forced to give up their separate cabinet-level posts.
Despite considerable grumbling about this reorganization, particularly among the nationalist wing of the Air Force, no evidence exists that the Brazilian armed forces have either the ability or the desire to regain their lost power through a military coup. Brazil has long had welfare and pension systems but they do little for poorer workers and largely benefit state functionaries.
Brazil also has some of the most progressive social legislation of any developing country—such as paid maternity leave—but as with other legislation, it is more often honored in the breach.
Now with some , members, it began organizing the occupation of large unproductive estates in the mids after the federal government was slow to follow through on its promised program of land reform. A convoy of vehicles invade an estate at night so that by dawn too many people will have occupied the land for the police to be able to evict them. Such land occupations have escalated since the mids, enhanced by the Brazilian media's sympathetic portrayal of the MST as supporting a just cause.
Partly in response to the MST, by the end of the federal agrarian reform program had settled nearly , families on eighteen million acres 7. Over the last decade or so many other Brazilian NGOs have been established dealing with the problems of street children, rural poverty, hunger, ecological issues, women's issues, and indigenous rights.
Some have received international attention and foreign support. Division of Labor by Gender. Gender roles in Brazil vary to some extent by social class, race, and place of residence. White, middle-class and elite women living in large urban centers generally have more occupational choices and greater behavioral flexibility than their poorer, darker, rural sisters.
Nevertheless, even when women are employed, men are seen as the primary providers of the family, with women's monetary contributions viewed as supplementary. Moreover, whether employed outside the home or not, women remain responsible for the proper functioning of the domestic sphere, with or without the aid of domestic servants. Today almost 40 percent of Brazilian women have jobs outside the home, although they hold only 2 percent of executive-level positions.
And while the number of women in industry has more than tripled since , they are primarily employed in low-skill, low-paying jobs in textiles and electronics. Poor women, especially those in the 20 percent of households with no permanently resident male, take whatever work they can get. Afro-Brazilian women are particularly disadvantaged in this regard; about 70 percent are employed in low-level agricultural, factory, and domestic service jobs.
The Relative Status of Women and Men. The mostly male Portuguese colonizers of Brazil brought with them the concept of machismo, which identifies men with authority and strength and women with weakness and subservience. Still, machismo is tempered in Brazil. It lacks the sharp-edged stress on heterosexuality and obsessive dread of homosexuality that characterizes it in other Latin societies.
Nevertheless, this world view, combined with the patriarchy of the Catholic Church, laid the foundation for male dominance.
As in most of Latin America, Brazil has a double standard in sexual matters. Traditionally, at least, men were expected to demonstrate their virility through premarital and extramarital sexual escapades, while women were supposed to "save themselves" for their husbands and remain faithful after marriage. So-called "crimes of passion" are linked to this dual sexual standard.
In the past—and occasionally even in modern times—men who killed their wives believing them to be unfaithful often went unpunished. Women have been slow to receive legal equality in Brazil. They were not given the vote until and, until the s, women were the equivalent of children under Brazilian law. They needed permission from their fathers or husbands to leave the country and could not open bank accounts on their own.
A women's rights movement emerged fairly late compared to that in the United States and has just started influencing legislation and the political process at the onset of the twenty-first century. While it has had some success, for example, in setting up special police stations for abused women, abortion is still illegal, although widespread.
Moreover, the emphasis on youth and beauty as a measure of female worth remains unchanged and it is no coincidence that Brazilian plastic surgeons enjoy international renown. Both civil and religious marriage exists in Brazil but the number of religious marriages is on the decline especially in urban areas. The poor continue to cohabit and are less likely to legalize their unions than those of higher social status.
Owing to the strong opposition of the Catholic Church, divorce was made legal in Brazil only in Lace next to a lacemaker at work, Fortaleza, Brazil. Less than 50 percent of Brazilian women hold jobs outside the home. While the typical household in Brazil may consist of parents and children, this is not the isolated nuclear family unit familiar to Americans.
Brazilian culture puts a high premium on extended family ties and Brazilians, regardless of social class, do not like to live any distance from their kin. Grown sons and daughters almost always remain at home until they marry and ideally live near their parents after marriage.
Brazilians normally interact weekly, if not daily, with members of the extended kin group—cousins, aunts and uncles, married children and their spouses, and inlaws. Among the urban middle class it is not uncommon for members of an extended family to live in separate apartments in the same building.
Brazilians trace their ancestry and inherit through both maternal and paternal lines. They typically have two surnames, that of their mother's and father's families. When a woman marries she usually adds her husband's surname to her own and drops that of her mother's family, while her children are given the surnames of their mother's father and their own father, all indicating a patrilineal slant.
When Brazilians speak of "family" they usually mean a large extended kin group rather than the immediate family of spouse and children. This large kin group, the parentela , consists of all maternal and paternal relatives, along with in-laws.
The parentela is at the core of social life and in time of need ideally provides assistance to its members.
Such support can also be obtained through ritual kinship compadrio in which parents select additional allies and protectors as godparents for their children. Some claim that the multiple functions of these extended kinship networks has inhibited the development of extrafamilial organizations in Brazil, such as parent—teacher associations and garden and civic clubs. Child Rearing and Education. Like so many aspects of Brazilian life, educational opportunities are tied to social class.
Brazil has never invested heavily in public education and most middle-class and elite families send their children to private school. Education is also linked to race and geography. A white person in the Southeast has an average of 6. Despite the low level of funding, the last four decades of the twentieth century witnessed a significant increase in the number of Brazilians attending school and a concomitant rise in the literacy rate— in about 82 percent of Brazilians are literate.
In almost half the population had little or no schooling, a figure that fell to 22 percent by Notably, school is one setting in which females are often more successful than males.
In some regions of Brazil, girls are more likely than boys to be in school and women tend to be more literate than men. Two-thirds of all public monies spent on education in Brazil goes to universities, the other third to public primary and secondary schools.
While public universities in Brazil—widely considered superior to their private counterparts—charge no tuition, they have very competitive entrance exams which generally favor students who have attended costly private schools with high academic standards. The value placed on higher education by certain segments of Brazilian society may explain why it receives such a large share of revenue. Economic success in Brazil is said to come more from who one knows than what one knows, and where one is educated, influences who one knows.
University education then, aside from training students in a particular profession, also confers or confirms social status which, in turn, provides the personal connections that can influence future success. Brazilians have less sense of personal space than North Americans and are not bothered being packed together in crowded public places.
They are physically expressive and convey emotional information through touch. While in some societies touching has sexual overtones, Brazilians equate it with friendship and a show of concern. Women tend to touch more than men and greet others with kisses on both cheeks, but men also welcome each other with hearty pats on the back and bear hugs. Such informality extends to conversation. Still, body language and terms of address vary with an individual's social standing.
University graduates or, at times, even those who appear to be well educated, are addressed as doutor or doutora doctor. Brazilians also have relaxed attitudes towards nudity and toward the body in general.
Witness the scanty costumes of carnival performers which consist of little more than a wisp of fabric and a few feathers, and the tiny string bikinis—called "dental floss" fio dental in Brazilian slang—that women of all shapes, sizes, and ages wear on Brazil's public beaches. Brazil is the largest Catholic country in the world even though the percentage of Brazilians who belong to the Catholic Church has declined in recent years, down from 95 percent in the s.
Today about 73 percent of Brazilians identify themselves as Catholic but an unknown number are Catholics by tradition, not by faith. Although church and state are separate in Brazil and, by law, there is freedom of religious belief and expression, a close relationship exists between the Catholic Church and the state.
Major Catholic holidays are public holidays and a priest or bishop always presides at the inauguration of public buildings. Also, church-based welfare and educational institutions, such as religious seminaries, receive financial support from the federal government. At various times in Brazilian history the Catholic Church has either strongly endorsed the state or vigorously challenged the status quo, as in the case of liberation theology, a late-twentieth century movement that provided religious justification for questioning the yawning gap between haves and have-nots in Brazil.
Catholicism varies somewhat in rural and urban settings. What has been called "folk Catholicism," which includes beliefs and practices long abandoned in cities, is observed by people in the interior of the country.
Such popular Catholicism survives in pilgrimage centers in the backlands which attract thousands of Brazilians, often from great distances. The faithful take vows to make a pilgrimage to honor the saint who fulfills their request—recovery from illness or getting a job are examples. Sometimes the grateful supplicant offers the saint a carved likeness of the body part that has been cured.
Brazilian Catholicism has always coexisted— generally in relative harmony—with other religions including those of the nation's indigenous people, African religions brought to Brazil by slaves, European spiritism, and various Protestant denominations.
A house on the edge of the Amazon River. The Amazon forest is estimated to contain 15 to 30 percent of all species on earth.
Moreover, many Brazilian Catholics participate in the rituals of other religions but nevertheless consider themselves "good" Catholics. Umbanda is another highly syncretic religion with spiritist elements that began in Rio de Janeiro in the late s and spread to urban areas throughout the country. With some thirty million followers today, Umbanda has been called the one true national religion of Brazil because it embraces elements of all three of the nation's cultural traditions: African, European, and Indian.
Spiritism, based on the teachings of French philosopher Alain Kardec and introduced to Brazil in the nineteenth century, is yet another spiritual movement with a growing following. Spiritism is more an intellectual endeavor than an emotional cry for salvation. Spiritists, most of whom are from the upper-middle-class and elite sectors of society, believe that humans are spirits trapped in bodies and that moral perfection is life's goal. The live and let live stance of Brazilian Catholicism towards other forms of religious belief and expression is absent in Brazilian Protestantism, especially in its fundamentalist variant.
The so-called "new Pentecostals" view Afro-Brazilian religions and Umbanda as the work of the Devil and dramatically exorcize new converts to rid them of such evil. Pentecostal churches have enjoyed great success in recent years. In often highly emotional services, converts claim inspiration from the Holy Spirit, speak in tongues, and perform cures.
Using radio and television, the sects target the poor and preach here-and-now self-improvement through individual initiative. One relatively new sect, the Igreja Universal Universal Church , founded in Rio de Janeiro in the late s, now has churches all over Brazil and throughout the world.
A development in the Brazilian religious panoply at the end of the twentieth century was the growth of the Charismatic movement within the Catholic Church. With its strong emphasis on the power of the Holy Spirit to heal physical, emotional, and material distress; its rituals involving speaking in tongues; and its lively, emotive religious A view overlooking Rio de Janeiro.
There is stark contrast between the wealthier, more industrialized south and the poorer, undeveloped north. Brazil has long had a public health system, but like other social programs that primarily serve the poor, it is vastly underfunded.
Many of the poor either self-medicate or get whatever remedies they can from local pharmacists who are the only health care providers in some rural areas. For those who can afford it at the other end of the social spectrum, Brazil has world class health care in modern medical centers, particularly in the prosperous Southeast and South.
Most secular celebrations in Brazil are tied to the liturgical calendar since many originally started as religious celebrations and then became secularized. The Feast of the Three Kings, 6 January. Children go door to door singing songs and requesting gifts.
This tradition has almost died out in urban areas, but survives in the interior. Carnival, variable dates, from late January to March. Brazil's famous four-day "national party" preceding Ash Wednesday is marked by street parades, samba, music, parties, and elaborate costumes. Its forms vary from city to city and region to region. Tiradentes Day, 2 April. Tiradentes literally, tooth-puller was leader of the Minas Conspiracy, the most important early movement for Brazilian independence.
When the Portuguese Crown discovered Tiradentes was leading an independence movement, he was hanged and quartered in the public square in Vila Rica, a town in Minas Gerais. Festas Juninas June Festivals , June. Brazilians celebrate a series of popular festivals with origins in Roman Catholic tradition. The feasts of Saint Anthony 13 June , Saint John 24 June and Saint Peter 29 June are marked by huge bonfires, traditional foods and games, square dancing, and parties for children.
Urban children dress up like hillbillies during these Festivals. Brazilian Independence Day, 7 September. The many bad apples out there will often blind us to those one-in-a-million guys who really do exist in China. I have met some extraordinary men in China — men who were more gentlemanly, gentle and caring than anyone I ever dated in the US and, I might add, men who do not smoke, spit, hock, have bad breath, or even drink. If I had decided that all men in China were disgusting, I would never have given myself the opportunity to know them, which would have been an incredible loss.
As for the change you mention — yes, it is important to demand change, and I hope China changes everyday. Yet keep in mind that China is a very large country with shockingly large gaps between the wealthy and poor. And on the other hand, being wealthy in China can often be an obstacle to change.
In some cases, these people even have no shame at all I have seen government officials and elites, all men, who once talked blatantly about their mistresses and lewd sexual behavior right in front of me, at the dinner table. People in China need to reclaim a sense of shame regarding their behavior in public, on many levels.
Everyone tells me to get a Chinese boyfriend, but in reality, it seems that very few are open to that idea. Which is a shame, because I certainly am. Thanks for stopping by and posting a comment! Susan, The first and second comment are not correct at all.
Good luck to you! May i just add one more point to what Susan had mentioned about Chinese men, a lot of us are good chef at home too: Food is a such important part of chinese culture that cooking is not just the responsibility of women. I bet most of the chinese men feel the same about you. Grow up, you have a long way to go. When I was 22, moving to America was not an easy quest for me, I was considered skinny at lbs.
I could not get most American girls to go on a date with me. My point is, people will always have their first impression from your outer appearance, and sometimes, you might just need to let them have it before they even get a chance to know the real you. I can say from my personal experience, even after my transformation on my image the macho look , many white women still keep their distance from me. This is mostly because of the race issue. For some reason, more white men can easily accept Asian women than a white women can accept Asian men.
I can accept racism but I refuse to believe Chinese men are less than western men in any way. Not even handsome vs. If I could get a Chinese guy to make a move I would be so happy.
Part of it is they seem intimidated. As to other expats guys! The second night I was in China, one guy asked me if I would date a Chinese guy and when I said yes, he accused me of having a fetish for small penises. What about the rampant adultery? Not only is adultery fairly common, it seems almost socially accepted and mandated.
Has this been a problem for any of the couples? Perhaps it also happens that plenty of racism in China exists toward foreigners living in the country. Can anyone explain it maybe they have already? Maybe, is it due to the lack Asian men presence in the media? Re Andrea, the problem of rampant adultery is not true even though the things appeard.
At least the mainstream culture can not accept it. These historical wounds still haunt many Chinese mentally. What Stan said is true, I believe most Chinese men have hard time to let women pick up their tab on a date. Casual dating with foreign girls is just not common in China, on top of that, i think basic communication can be another issue, how many foreign girls can speak fluent chinese and how many chinese men can speak fluent english in china?
This issue alone can eliminate almost majority of the potiential dates. I also think that bias against asian men do still exist which makes the matter even more complicated, because it becomes more than just about dating, it becomes a issue of race and chinese certainly do not take it lightly.
On the mistress issue, I have to agree with Steven Chao. While I have come across some circles of men in China where mistresses are in the picture — these are often the powerful bosses, or officials, or men in high positions, usually 40, 50 years or older.
Not your typical guy, and certainly not the kind of guy most of us would end up dating or marrying anyway. Yes, this discussion is interesting. But I still think that the main obstacle here is how closed the Chinese society is. Because in the end it ends up playing a role in the language barrier as well. And, by not engaging very much with a lot of Chinese people, the mixing just becomes a bit more complicated. I agree Chinese society is closed. But if this were the main reason why there are so few Chinese men dating or marrying foreign women, you would see the same pattern with Chinese women dating or marrying foreign men.
Still, it is possible to overcome the barriers — and doing so largely depends on how you approach your experience in the country, and the kinds of experiences you have. When I first came to China, I knew almost no Chinese — just a few survival phrases, and basic numbers. But I was curious about China, and interested to learn. In the process, I made some amazing Chinese friends, who spoke English and became my own teachers — teaching me about the culture around me.
If you live in China as a foreigner, you always have the opportunity to have contact with the culture. Of course I meant my experience in China. You seem to put the blame on foreigners who stay in their comfort zones. But these people still hang out with foreigners much more than with Chinese. Actually, we accept them as one of our own. So yes, I do put some of the blame on the Chinese society. But I am not blind to our flaws and I did have a very good welcome when I lived in Germany.
I apologize if I sounded as though I was putting so much blame on foreigners. I can understand where you are coming from, given your experience in Brazil, and observing foreigners integrating quite flawlessly into the culture. You are right that it is not easy in China for foreigners. I too have had moments of alienation in China.
And perhaps I am an anomaly — having family ties to the country brings me so much closer to it. If you put an effort into it I believe the Chinese society is pretty open. But I kind of have a good starting point: I live in a totally Chinese area in Beijing, no other westerners is living here.
I have been very welcomed here. Yet, the great majority of their friends seems to be foreign. It makes it much easier for a foreign guy to chat up a Chinese girl in a random social setting e.
On the other hand, some Westerns girl would need a real connection to a guy to fall for him. That requires a lot of interaction. Point being, it just decreases the chances a western girl has of meeting those amazing Chinese guys out there. This is a complex issue, and all factor raised play a role in each individual case. As it has been pointed out in other comments, some really have a problem with feeling superior to the Chinese. I think one of the reasons that western women are often thought to be rich, even when they are actually not, is because they are typically a lot more exposed to the consumerism that is dominant in western culture.
By that I mean they tend to spend their money more generously and liberally than their Chinese counterparts. Fresh-off-the-boat Chinese FOBs, e. And they expect their girlfriends maybe not girlfriends, but certainly their wives to be economically prudent, too. I know for a fact that I would not be able to independently afford a marriage with any of a number of sorority girls that I know on this campus, even if I could secure the highest paying job available for a normal college graduate.
Another problem that I have encountered is religion. When I came to the states, I landed in a historically white fraternity in a state right in the Bible belt. Methodist, Baptist, Catholicism, Presbyterianism, Mennonite, etc. Even a Jewish professor tried pretty hard at one time to sell me his theology, and I thought Jews always kept their religion private from non-jews.
A lot of protestant Christian groups on campus deliberately and actively target FOB Chinese students, which can be quite disturbing and annoying. On the other hand, for a lot of people here, atheism is rather controversial, to say the least.
So it just never worked out seriously with any girl of religious convictions. And those ladies who are sufficiently secularist are usually too smart to involve themselves with fraternity boys. You say something about Western consumerism. I have to say that many a Westerners has been shocked about the materialism of China.
About religion, that depends on the place. You have to understand the culture of the place you are in. I think one big reason you see so few Chinese men with foreign women is what that taxi driver alluded to. At least that fear is what stops a lot of Chinese guys from trying a relationship with a foreign woman.
Please keep up the great posts! Great to hear from another Western woman who has discovered the joys of marriage to a Chinese man! When you find the right guy, they really can make exceptional partners, for all of the qualities you described all fitting my husband as well. It said 27 percent of mixed marriages comprised of Chinese men and foreign women — up from a few years before that.
More than 60 percent said that it is normal to see mixed couples and 35 percent said that for a Chinese man it is very romantic to marry a foreign woman. The newspaper did not provide information as to the men women ratio among the more than 10, interviewed. Until several years ago 90 percent of the mixed couples were composed of a Chinese woman and a foreign man.
Now the percentage of the unions of Chinese men and foreign women has increased to 25 percent of the total. Unfortunately these marriages do not seem to stand the test of time and according to a poll carried out in Shanghai 60 percent of the mixed marriages celebrated in the period have ended with divorce. In the same period marriages in China increased by 2. Thanks for linking my blog! Yes, I am the one and the same Jessica who you corresponded with way back in … I guess it was ?
My husband is not my then-boyfriend, but a guy I met in quite a few years later. I use workaround methods, but it just adds an extra level of hassle. However, I do hope you stop by my blog once in awhile and keep in touch. It is difficult to socialise between races.
Expats and locals stick to their own enclaves. If they do meet , love can happen. Racism comes only when family and friends frown on the relationship. I am a Chinese guy who currently living in America. I can to the US when I was 16 years old, my mother married a fat, and extreamly unattrictive bold head White guy, so we could come o the US. At that time I used to only like Chinese girls cause I grow up there and watch all the Chinese movies and film where Chinese girls are beautiful.
I never even thought of liking White girls by then, cause I never even seen one. I watch hollywood movie and start to accept White beauty standard. But then after that I start to get a bit lonely cause Asian girls in America never even liked me, some Asian girls told me that I am good looking which I also aggree, but they only wants to be friend. While most other Asian girls are SO mean.
I also start to get all the Racisim bullsh! That really pissed me off. Two years later, my mom divorced her fat husband lol. She start to dating again. I thought great, mom should date a Chinese guy who will have our values and traditions.
But she did not, she dated another fat white guy cause she cannot find a good looking white guy. I asked her why? She did not say, but I was smart enough to find out that she hates Asian guys and was totally white washed by American media that Asian guys suck!
So I also changed. Ever since then I start to like non-Asian girls particullary White girls. But right now, I have to stay foucs on school. My comment on American white girls are: Most White girls in US do not like Asian gusy. However, the reason why Asian guys dont dig White girls is due to the lack of media promotion.
Off course they do not want to see Asian guys getting their women cause there are already competition from Black and Hispanic guys. A lot of White girls are into the Asian man sterotypes. That many of them are turn off by us without even know us.
Please dont believe in those crap, I am Asian guy and I dont have those nasty sh! But it still hurts to hear all those stuffs.
I think I am kinda mentally ill right now. Slipknot, thanks for sharing your experience. I was really blown away by your story, and am so sorry to hear that you were mentally scarred on some level.
But deep down, it really is a double standard. In fact, a few weeks ago I saw a commercial here in the US — I think it was for chewing gum — and it showed two Asian guys living in Scotland with Scottish accents. Media is not to blame for not letting Asian guys get with white girls, but movies do set the tone.
We need more ambitious directors, producers and actors to put in some hotter scenes or at the very least a romance. And we need more hunky Asian heroes to help lead the way. But the bigger question is: What about all the other groups in America? I think most Asian guys are just too timid, nice and kind to get what they want. You will definitely get rejected a few times. So does everyone else. You just might find the girl of your dreams, have 8 kids, then get a prime-time tv reality show.
So from one Asian guy to all you other Asian guys who are or are thinking about whining: I met him through some British Hong Kong Chinese friends of mine. None of my friends Chinese or otherwise had any problem with my boyfriend, nor did my family. What I did notice however is that when we were out, we got almost dirty looks from non British Chinese people. These kind of looks only ever came from Chinese people. We swap e-mails a few times a year.
I would also point out that this phenomenon exists in Japan as well. I studied Japanese at university and have lived in Japan. While a student in Japan, I noticed many romances between Japanese girls and foreign men, but very few the other way round. I prefer someone to challenge me. This is maybe cultural. I have met Japanese men I was attracted to, but as yet no romance has ever ensued.
Jocelyn, here is an artical written by a Swedish girl. Her reasons are bias. But it is interesting to read. She is trolling, if you have time to read most of her posts you will find out. She says Chinese men are not tall. LoL, yes in ShangHi. Cause ShangHI men are southern Chinese.
But in Norther China. Man are much taller, close to 5. The same thing apply to White guys. Spanish, Italian, Frence, and Portugal men are not that tall, average about 5. So, obviously this girl named Jonna is not so smart. She also talked about Chinese men are fememine, WTF. ShangHi is an old emperial city long been fed up all the western propaganda. Men there tend to think that they are inferior.
And girls offtehn take adavantages of it and make their BF do things like carry their hand bags, and even tie their shoes. But this do not apply to Northern and West Chinese men.
I for one will never do those things. Again, it shows how shallow Jonna is. The current Frence president Nicolas Sarkozy is only 5. And Napoliean is only 5. Yet no one makes fun of them, oh yeah. The Frence are European, and European men are might tall and strong Sorry to say this, I mean no offence. Anyway, the apperance of a man is important but his personiality and his intellengence are also important.
I hope people dont just judge us based on apperance. However, like Chinese people. Nothing is perfect, everything has its downside like every coin has two sides. Chinese men like me are very hard working, smart, faimily orenated, have high values, taught to be loyal, and learned how to be a good father and take good care of our parants when they get old. The down side of us, at least for Chinese men in China is that they do not have a lot of proper manner like spitting, chocking, hocking, and nose picking.
Because my mother always telling me how BAD White girls are like they are not loyal, have no ethics, blah blah blah. However, it has its good sides such as clean enviorment, safe street, and great Universities. Its bad sides are: People always make sterotypes such as Black guys are stupid, white guys have smaller penis compare to black guys, Asian guys are nerds, Mexcian guys are all gangsters…… These things divide American people and greatly hurt the national unity.
I just hope one day Coungress would pass laws to ban all sterotypes and Punish people who create them regardless of what race they are. Its good sides are: It has great infurstructure such as high way, air port, hospitals, and Universities which make living standard high and safe. I wish people especially girls also see the good sterotypes about Chinese men instead of just the negative ones. Perhaps interracial, international dating and marriage should be expected to be rare in the first place.
Here is an article that may answer the latter of the two questions. Biologically speaking, isolated populations do better at evolving traits that are adaptive to the local environment. Reproductive barrier is a necessary condition for genetic diversity, and ultimately speciation. We would all be ethnic mud. Just like inbreeding is usually a bad thing, widespread interracial breeding, which is exactly the other extreme on the spectrum, is probably not good as well.
I am in a committed relationship with a Chinese man, and I am an American white woman. We make similar amounts of money and after much argument he agreed to let me pay a few times. We discuss politics, flaws in Chinese society, flaws in American society, love, sex, you name it we can talk about it.
Our biggest problem is that I will not stay in China, and he is reluctant to come to America. He suspects, I think rightly, that as soon as he is a Chinese immigrant in America it will be difficult for him to get a decent job.
So, in the long term I am a little worried on how we will deal with this problem when I leave. And, perhaps this is a tad inappropriate but since the topic has been broached, his penis size is above average. Our sex life has no problems. I think white women intimidate many Asian men. If you look in the above comments, the Chinese-American man who had confidence had no problem getting women. I knew a few Asian-American men in high school who cleaned up, one was even a total player landing a string of white women.
So, while there may be racism in both cultures involved I think the biggest problem is confidence on the part of the Asian men. Prior to my current wife, I have a Canadian Girl friend, who I am her first Chinese Boy Friend, I guess she was in love with me, while we are together, she has done some research and show me how the media protrait the Chinese man, basically in negative way, and how she think the misconcept should be corrected.
When I broke up with her because of my current wife We married two years later , her asked if I have found a Chinese girl to replace me now, when I told her is a Swiss, she was shock, her first reaction was — How can a Western Women fall in love with a Chinese However, she then immediately correct the statement as herself doing exactly the same.
So what if the white women reject you — is that the only race you can date? There are other colors besides white. You might be surprised. Well, how often, if ever, do you see a black woman in China?
I personally lived there for more than 18 years, six years in Beijing. I can count on two hands all the black women that I had ever ever seen in Beijing in all those years, all of whom were strongers to me, and most of whom were athletes that I spotted during the Olympic games.
And I am yet to encounter a black woman outside the capital. But I used to meet white women in Beijing almost every other day, and was personally familiar with perhaps half a dozen of them. If we are to limit our discussion to the US, it should not be surprising to see five or six times more Asian-White couples than Asian-Black couples, just because of the demographic make-up: There are simply more whites than blacks in the US.
If you take socio-economic factors into account, it becomes even less likely for Asian men to meet black women, bacause the gap between Asians and blacks is greater than that between Asians and whites. The cold reality is that all people everywhere, of all races, throughout history, just tend to marry within their own socio-economic classes. Maybe that is wrong. But would you marry an illiterate child-prostitute with AIDS? I really wants to be your friend, i have a chinese boyfriend for 2 years already, but he went crazy.
I wish you guys all the happiness in the world. I never said that I did not find Black women not attractive. I do find Hispanic and Black women attractive. But I had a lot more success with White girls. In high school I had many success. SO Marie you do not need to feel bad, Asian born in American will have few problems accepting black women. Marcia, just tell your boyfriend you love him and get married then all problem will be solved. Trust me this works. Marcia, your boyfriend is shy because he got all fed up by Hollywook BullCrap.
He lacks confident to love his white girlfriend. But he will have no problem to hold hand with a Chinese girl. However, you do not need to worry. Why not marry him and move him to United States then you will not have these problems. Despite me living in the U. Despite this, we have overcome much and love each other. And yes, we do get alot of looks while in China, and there are alot more foreign men with Chinese women than the reverse.
Also China is not as wealthy as the United States and other western countries. However this is not the main reason. So you now know the main reason. The main thing we need to focous on is sports, if we can do well in sports then we will become much stronger and much more confident then our image will change.
But Yi it is changing now. You know the recession hit western world hard and many Chinese women lost their interets in western men.
So look on the bright side. Angie, good for you that he likes you. You know that there are many guys in China like western women just like Chinese women. However Chinese men are afraid to date you because they heard all the bad sterotypes about them and the western media and movie made it even worst. But dont worry changes are on the way, stay positive. I have a Chinese boyfriend that moved to America 4 years ago.
We have been dateing for a few months now and every day we go out to do something diffrent. Everytime my boyfriend and I go out we get stared at and pointed to. My boyfriend Xun never said anything about it so I think he just didnt care. At first it bothered me but, I figured that if it didnt bother him then it shouldnt bother me. My family at first didnt like him because he was from another country but, after a wile of talking about how great our relationship it they came to like him.
We havent met each others family yeat. Xun and I had a long talk about it. He dosnt find it in his familys favor that it would end. He tells me just because hes from China that it dosnt make a diffrence. Hes here living in America now. I think it has been commonly said that a lot of guys may be afraid that their parents will not approve. Did their parents ever consider that there is a huge gender disparity?
Or would they prefer their son die alone? Besides, what ever happened to living your life how you want it? Only an asian woman can be so hateful. It makes me feel good that you have the fire in you to make a change, to not let others break you down.
Stay strong and never give up. If you falter, it means more work for the rest of us asian guys. This post is getting quite the buzz over the whole internet! My mom is a seflhating sell out Chinese women just like the typical Asian women. I am distant to marry White girls. I have a fantasy that is to marry a Nordic girl or American girl with Nordic desenct. But I can not help it. This is why all of a sudden I changed myself.
I care about my fashion now, I wear much better clothing to make myself look even better Since I am already a good looking guy. I try hard to get rid of my accent, and now I speak English almost perfectly with very little accent. I work out at the gym try to get toned musle and look even better. Not only do they sell out themselves but they also make up Bullsh! Please my fellow Chinese men: I think it will. As China gets rich, it certainally will. So Chinese media will heavly promote Chinese men to date western women and more and more young, tall, good looking, rich Chinese men will be open minded to date western women.
So I think it will change too. BTW, there are already sings of Chiese media promoting such things. You will see it. Chinese men are NOT as weak and scared as western men think. Also, I am one of those tall, goodlooking, young well educated Chinese men who finds western women much more attractive than Chiense girls and at least half of my Chinese male friends think the same way.
I am a forty-one year old American lady, Read: The one time I broke free and chose my own mate, my parents stole my son and paid his father to leave with our son to another country. I have not seen my son for over fifteen years now, and I doubt he even knows who I am. I stopped dating at first because I really needed to get my head and heart together, and, just as importantly, create a new life and sense of worth for myself. In time I enrolled in college, something my parents would never let me do, and I started my own small business.
I was in my mid-thirties before I felt emotionally ready to date again, and the expected initial disasters of being too long out of the dating scene happened, though thankfully, these mostly proved to be funny in hindsight. I thought that because he was an older Chinese man, and a government official too, that I would be a pariah to him, not the other way around. His response to me took me utterly by surprise… I was honest to him from the beginning, though the details were spread over a few months, and I even went so far as to admit that I was on good terms with only one of my blood relatives, and I told him about my past in more detail than I related here.
He is everything I need to feel both secure and independent, a gentle and yet firmly reliable presence in my life and spirit, and we never run out of things to talk about to each other.
For over a year now he has never failed to make me laugh, smile, feel optimistic, and he is loving and supportive in everything I do. He and my good relative get along extremely well, and I am beginning a great relationship with his son from a long-extinct previous marriage. Yes, he is an extraordinary cook, and he tried to make me use chopsticks so I would eat slower than him, but the cooking is so good, I aced using the chopsticks!
Above all, he is gifted with the ability to be an extraordinary companion. The perfect man for me is located literally on the other side of the planet, and I never would have found him if not for the internet and for the efforts of people who were determined to break down the barriers of ignorance, fear, and the resulting prejudices.
I have so many reasons to be grateful… We must wait two more years until he retires before we can officially tie the knot. If we married right now he would be severely investigated by his government and he would lose his retirement benefits, for which he has worked hard for over 30 years to acquire.
I call, and I visit him in China, every chance I can, and it is our hope that he can move here to America with me when he retires.
Well, that is my two cents anyways… Smile! I would welcome any constructive comments regarding how to make his American citizenship any easier, and tips on how he can adjust and get a job when he arrives here. Thank you so much for your patience and regard! Wow, what a story — I am so delighted to hear from you, and to hear that you found a new life, family and home with a wonderful Chinese man. Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you you for being so kind, encouraging, and helpful. Thank you for sharing your story. You are right that Chinese men are like that. In fact I am like that too, even though I am young. I am a western girl in Shanghai and I do like the Chinese men, not too much experince but I am learning as I go along. Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories.
largest nation in Latin America, comprises slightly under half the land mass of the South American continent and shares a border with every South American country except Chile and Ecuador. you mean NAT, DHCP is what gives ip address, NAT is the reason the adress from your router is internal only and you all share one external address. Black men are doing white men everywhere a favor by satisfying thick women. Every thick white girl who just got the veiny black snake is that much less likely to cockblock out of sexual frustration.